Normal Sexual Development vs. Sexually Harmful/Abusive Behaviors

Children’s bodily and sexual awareness starts in infancy and continues to strengthen throughout preschool and school-age years. Many children engage in some form of sexual behavior or play – sometimes with other children or siblings – and show sexual interests throughout their childhood years, even before they reach puberty. Knowing about children’s behavior and how it changes as they grow can help educators determine if a child’s sexual behavior is typical or something to be concerned about. It is important to be able to distinguish between age-appropriate and age-inappropriate sexual behaviors. In general, normative (or expected) sexual behaviors in young children:

• Are usually not overtly sexual (do not include simulating adult-like sexual behaviors);
• Occur between children of about the same age and size;
• Are more exploratory, spontaneous, and playful in nature rather than planned;
• Do not show a preoccupation with sexual interactions;
• Occur infrequently;
• Are not hostile, aggressive, or hurtful to the child or to others; and
• Are easily diverted when parents/caregivers tell the children to stop and explain the privacy rules.

In contrast, sexual behaviors of childhood and adolescence are a concern when they are extensive or suggest preoccupation or involve others in ways that are not consensual. That is, sexual behaviors in children are problematic and present a special concern:

• When they appear as prominent features in a child’s or youth’s life;
• Where there are greater differences in the children’s/youths’ ages and size or developmental ability;
• When manipulation, bribery, coercion, threat or force are employed;
• When sexual play or behaviors aren’t welcomed by other children/youth involved in the play;
• When the behaviors are beyond the expected knowledge for the child’s/youth’s age; or
• When the behaviors interfere with other age-appropriate activities.

This is the point where “play” crosses the line into sexually problematic, harmful, and aggressive behaviors. There are a number of publications that describe the differences between normative and problematic sexual behaviors in children and youth. For example, the website of the National Center on the Sexual Behavior of Youth ¹¹⁷ (NCSBY) has descriptive information for both parents and professionals on the differences between normative and problematic sexual behavior ¹¹⁸ divided into different age ranges from early childhood to adolescence.

Often, the types of behaviors that “cross the line” can be warning signs that a child or youth has witnessed physical or sexual violence at home and are copying what they have seen. Others may have been exposed to, or had contact with, inappropriate sexual activities or material and are reacting to the experience. These children/youth may express or demonstrate knowledge of sexual activity that is normally beyond the understanding of others of similar age. Still others may have been exposed to sexually explicit movies, video games, or other pornographic materials. In other instances, a child or youth may act on a passing impulse with no harmful intent but may still cause harm to other children/youth. It is always important to seek help promptly in instances of suspected or observed problematic sexual behaviors between children and/or youth.

In these cases, you and your staff should take the following steps:

• If there is reasonable cause to believe that a child/youth has been sexually abused, file a 51A with DCF. (DCF Office locations, office hours, phone numbers, instructions, and report forms can be found in the DCF’s Report Child Abuse or Neglect page on the Mass.gov website ¹¹⁹ ).
• DCF will screen the 51A Report to determine if a response is warranted.
• Regardless of the outcome of the screening decision, DCF typically makes a DA referral.
• The CACs (Children’s Advocacy Centers ¹²⁰ ) work collaboratively with the DA offices and will determine their response to these referrals; this could include therapeutic services.

Additional information for Massachusetts educators and others can also be found in several policy, guidance, and district-specific model documents:

• Joint DESE/DCF Advisory ¹²¹ Regarding Mandated Reporting Responsibilities of School Personnel in Cases of Suspected Child Abuse and Neglect (2021). See paragraph 19.
• EOHHS Interagency Collaboration & Practice ¹²² Related to Problematic Sexual Behaviors (2016)
• DCF Adolescent Sexual Offender Policy ¹²³ (2008) (Ages 13-18)
• Boston Public Schools Superintendent’s Circular EQT-3 (School Year 2021-2022): Sexual Misconduct Toward Students ¹²⁴
• Supplemental Guidance to Support EQT-3 Superintendent’s Circular: BPS Responses to Child-Child Incidents of Sexual Behavior [ages 11 and under]: Guidance for Informing Caregivers (Updated September 2021 – See Appendix N).

Problematic sexual behavior in schools and other youth serving organizations requires coordinated intervention and services in a number of areas. Children and youth who engage in problematic sexual behaviors with other children/youth need specialized help and support to stop the behavior, and the children/youth who are victimized by those behaviors need help to recover from the trauma. Counseling for the caregivers and the families of the children/youth is also an important component to successfully stop the behavior.

Massachusetts laws and policies in this area can be confusing but are continuing to evolve in order to ensure that the intervention for children and youth with PSB is focused on identification, intervention, and effective treatment rather than criminal investigation and punishment. For example, legislation was passed in 2018 (An Act Relative to Criminal Justice Reform, Bill S.2371) that decriminalized sexual behaviors by children under the age of 12 which allows for families to seek help without fear of prosecution (See Nov 2019 commentary ¹²⁵ on the law from the MA Juvenile Justice Policy and Data Board).

Several efforts are currently underway in Massachusetts and elsewhere to support a better, more coordinated and comprehensive response to children and youth with problematic sexual behaviors. Since July 2020, the MA Legislative Task Force on the Prevention of Child Sexual Abuse (co-chaired by the Children’s Trust and the MA Child Advocate) has funded a PSB Learning Collaborative administered by the Massachusetts Children’s Alliance (MACA). This initiative – in conjunction with training staff from the National Center on the Sexual Behavior of Youth – is designed to increase clinical training and capacity, services, and awareness of PSBs across the state through the network of Children’s Advocacy Centers.

In 2021, the Task Force also created a PSB Working Group co-chaired by the Massachusetts Society for a World Free of Sexual Harm by Youth ¹²⁶ (MASOC), and the Children’s Trust (CT). Working group membership includes representation from the MA Children’s Alliance (MACA), the Children’s Advocacy Center of Suffolk County (SUF), the Office of the Northwestern District Attorney, UMass Lowell, Whitney Academy, The Center for Hope and Healing, and the MA Departments of Elementary and Secondary Education (DESE), Children and Families (DCF), Public Health (DPH), Early Education and Care (EEC), and Youth Services (DYS). This multi-agency collaboration is in the process of conducting an in-depth environmental scan to outline the gaps and challenges as well as the unique strengths and opportunities in the state for developing a comprehensive, evidence-based approach to preventing and responding to children and adolescents with PSB. Updates will be posted on the Safe Kids Thrive website. The first portion of this scan, Overview of the Research on Children and Adolescents Engaging in Problematic Sexual Behavior, ¹²⁷ was published on the Safe Kids Thrive website in February 2023. Updates will be posted on the Safe Kids Thrive website.

Additional resources for understanding and responding to students with PSB in school settings:

Responding to Problem Sexual Behavior in Children and Young People: Guidelines for Staff in Education and Care Settings ¹²⁸ (2013). Department for Education and Child Development, Catholic Education South Australia, Association of Independent Schools of South Australia

Protocol for Responding to Sexualized Behavior in Schools ¹²⁹ (2019) Ministry of Education, British Columbia, Canada

Problematic sexual behavior among children and youth: Considerations for reporting, assessment, and treatment ¹³⁰ (2018). Auburn, AL: Military REACH.

National Center on the Sexual Behavior of Youth: Resources and Downloads (Schools) ¹³¹

¹¹⁷ https://ncsby.org/

¹¹⁸ https://ncsby.org/content/normative-sexual-behavior

¹¹⁹ https://www.mass.gov/how-to/report-child-abuse-or-neglect

¹²⁰ CACs are child-friendly centers where a multidisciplinary team (MDT) of professionals offer a coordinated response to allegations of child sexual and severe physical abuse. CACs coordinate a single forensic (SAIN) interview to gather the information needed by each member of the MDT to successfully investigate allegations of abuse.

¹²¹ https://www.doe.mass.edu/lawsregs/advisory/child-abuse.html

¹²² http://commissiononsexoffenderrecidivism.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/Interagency-Collaboration-EOHHS.pdf

¹²³ https://www.mass.gov/doc/adol-sex-offender-policy/download

¹²⁴ https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1KdPD12saP7GidxA4dWEqny0APfKKKp8F

¹²⁵ https://www.mass.gov/doc/early-impacts-of-an-act-relative-to-criminal-justice-reform-november-2019/download

¹²⁶ https://masoc.net/

¹²⁷ https://safekidsthrive.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/04/Youth-PSB-Report-2023.pdf

¹²⁸ https://ncsby.org/sites/default/files/responding_to_problem_sexual_behaviour_in_children_and_young_people.pdf

¹²⁹ https://sd83.bc.ca/wp-content/uploads/2019/09/11E.xii_.1-Protocol-for-Responding-to-Sexualized-Behavior-in-Schools.pdf

¹³⁰ https://militaryreach.auburn.edu/dr?id=24e05882-fd26-4057-a5e0-da22912f8ad8&rt=rs

¹³¹ https://ncsby.org/resources#tab-0-schools